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#266068 12/17/04 07:21 AM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 2,267
paul144 Offline OP
OP Offline
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 2,267
I stole this from another message board.
It was too good to pass up.


A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health
risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an
ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed. Yeah
right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and
subscribes to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands
before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing
but air and some Nike running shoes with a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The
sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought
he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally
catches her and has his way with her.

After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way
this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days
and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is
delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as promised. He calls the company and
orders their 5- day / 20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,
beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but
Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch
me, you can have me." He's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but
when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days,
the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs
himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day / 50
pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most
rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years"

The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a
muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a
sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."

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#266069 12/17/04 09:33 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 731
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 731
Whats that number?
I want to just do the first 2 plans!!!!

[Linked Image from]

[This message has been edited by BIGDOG3c (edited December 17, 2004).]

#266070 12/17/04 10:33 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,436
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,436
I remember that one from 1989 on a local BBS (remember those?), only it was a large gorilla.

No trees were harmed as a result of this posting; however, many electrons were severely inconvenienced.

Moderated by  metelcom 

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