Business Phone Systems

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Page 54 of 60 1 2 52 53 54 55 56 59 60
#308074 09/16/11 08:51 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,106
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,106
Quote
Originally posted by mdaniel:
both Dave's have a fuzzy face and I could see either in a dress and blowing a bagpipe
Some things cannot be unread frown


And I thought I only had to worry about banjo's in West Virginia! LOL

Atcom VoIP Demo
VoIP Demo
#308075 09/16/11 09:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 10,949
Moderator-Avaya
*****
Offline
Moderator-Avaya
*****
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 10,949
OK James,....... you in the same category as Tim after that statement.
You're one sick cookie. LOL


Avaya SMB Authorized Business Partner. ACIS/APSS
ESI Certified Reseller/Installer
www.regal-comm.com
#308076 09/17/11 08:48 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,106
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,106
Quote
Originally posted by mdaniel:
OK James,....... you in the same category as Tim after that statement.
You're one sick cookie. LOL
Is this the part where I can blame SIP for all things that ail me? smile

Note to self: Mike has guns, shovel, a chevy truck that might make it outside of town, and could come visit me during my trip. Be nice to Mike.

#308077 09/17/11 10:03 AM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,762
Likes: 7
Moderator-Iwatsu
*****
Offline
Moderator-Iwatsu
*****
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,762
Likes: 7
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The devil stops in
to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and
toques warming themselves around the fire.

The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for
you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land
of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm
up a little bit, eh."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and
turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there
they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil
asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel
it?"

Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're
from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy
for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

This gets the devil a little steamed and he decides to fix these
two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. People are
wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the
two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket
hats, grilling sausages and drinking beer. The devil is
astonished, "Everyone down here is in absolute misery, yet you
two seem to be enjoying yourselves."

The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much
warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a
cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight.
Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat
because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to
turn all the heat off in hell.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are
hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are
unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The
devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He
gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and
mittens. Except now they are jumping up and down, cheering,
yelling and screaming like mad men!!!

The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the
heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy.
What is wrong with you two???"

The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you
know? If Hell's frozen over, it must mean the Leafs have won the
Stanley Cup."


Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth. This is rarely a good thing.
#308078 09/17/11 10:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Offline
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
Hey, it's only been 47 years. Give 'em a break, won't ya? :rofl:


Scientists say that the universe is made up of Protons, Neutron & Electrons. They forgot "Morons".
Dave. (CTUB) Canadian Techs Use Bix!
#308079 09/19/11 04:53 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Offline
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University inMarquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.


One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.


Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.


'Well,' he said,'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'


Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.


The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body-cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.


The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ... circumcision may not have been the best way to start."


Scientists say that the universe is made up of Protons, Neutron & Electrons. They forgot "Morons".
Dave. (CTUB) Canadian Techs Use Bix!
#308080 09/20/11 10:38 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Offline
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
My buddy's missus left him last Thursday. She said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said,"Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."


Scientists say that the universe is made up of Protons, Neutron & Electrons. They forgot "Morons".
Dave. (CTUB) Canadian Techs Use Bix!
#308081 09/20/11 09:46 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,136
Moderator-Vodavi, Vertical, XBlue
*****
Offline
Moderator-Vodavi, Vertical, XBlue
*****
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,136
circumcision may not have been the best way to start.
:rofl: :rofl:


- Dave S. -

You can never appease your ideologue opponents.

#308082 09/21/11 06:10 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 6,745
Likes: 10
Retired Admin
*****
Offline
Retired Admin
*****
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 6,745
Likes: 10
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

Her mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made".

Two days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. Her father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved".

Confused, the little girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God and dad said they developed from monkeys?”

To which her mother replied, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."


Dean
Photographs:
https://www.instagram.com/deanwilsoncanby/
https://fstoppers.com/profile/deanwilsoncanby
https://www.facebook.com/Dean-Wilson-Photography-112841337020414

Please don't confuse your "Internet Search" with my licenses, certifications and over 30 years experience.

"Thank you for calling Technical Support. If you feel you have reached this number in error, please hang up and press redial."
#308083 09/22/11 04:48 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Offline
Moderator-Nortel, Computers, General
*****
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,727
Likes: 2
Golf Panties....
The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded.
'Well' she said, 'you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear..'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. 'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers Why not?'

She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear"!
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?' She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.... Tidy yerself up a bit.'


Scientists say that the universe is made up of Protons, Neutron & Electrons. They forgot "Morons".
Dave. (CTUB) Canadian Techs Use Bix!
Page 54 of 60 1 2 52 53 54 55 56 59 60

Moderated by  metelcom 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Statistics
Forums84
Topics93,737
Posts636,402
Members49,615
Most Online5,661
May 23rd, 2018
Popular Topics(Views)
Today's Birthdays
effedisk, hellbender, Pat Amaral, Zip
Newest Members
AMS Technology C, Chrontel, RonZ1971, Michael1948, lllDez
49,615 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
jsaad 7
Toner 6
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 11 guests, and 23 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Contact Us | Sponsored by Atcom: Business Phone Systems | Terms of Service

Sundance Communications is not affiliated with any of the above manufacturers.
©Copyright Sundance Communications 1998-2022
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5