Just for Jokester #12 Just for Jokester Index
Enjoy and remember they are only jokes.
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, Ã¢â‚¬Å“This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.Ã¢â‚¬Â The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Which do you want, son?Ã¢â‚¬Â The boy takes the quarters and leaves. Ã¢â‚¬Å“What did I tell you?Ã¢â‚¬Â said the barber. Ã¢â‚¬Å“That kid never learns!Ã¢â‚¬Â Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?Ã¢â‚¬Â The boy licked his cone and replied, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!Ã¢â‚¬Â
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "HereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Little Johnny comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help.
"Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask you sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you have learned."
Little Johnny is puzzled but decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone would give you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
His mother looks around shyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."
Then he goes to his sister's room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"
Little Johnny goes back to his father who asks, "Well, what did you learn?"
Little Johnny says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. POTENTIALLY, we're sitting on two million bucks, but in REALITY, we're living with a couple of whores."