John -

Looks like something across the MOSFET is gonna be the way to go. I found a 100 uf, put it on the mosfet, waited 4 mins... nothin. So, something smaller there.

I had a couple 1000uf's as well, first put 1000uf and then 2000 uf across the relay, no apparent effect, switched right on.

Will let ya know more tomorrow.

...later...

10uf causes engagement after about 15 secs. Gonna have to go lower still..

Thx
Matt