Merritt, I'm not sure if you were being serious but none of that is true except for the following. There's been some drama raised about the ability to remove apps downloaded from the Microsoft app store. It is apps installed from there that Microsoft has the ability to remove. Google actually has this capability and so does Apple in their mobile platforms. If you have a tablet then yes both Apple and Google can reach in and remove apps. Google has used this feature twice to remove rogue apps.